Man sues company for sending him chocolate penis, claims “emotional distress”

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A care package is a great way to let someone know you’re thinking of them. A care package containing a chocolate phallus, on the other hand, may be enough to “shock, offend, and frighten” the recipient. That’s the basis of a case filed against Ruin Days, a New York prank company.

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Ruin Days, a Queens-based company advertising ways to “ruin your enemy’s day,” allows customers to anonymously send prank packages to unsuspecting recipients. Penn Live reports that 47-year-old Nicholas Carretta filed court papers claiming that the company sent him “multiple unsolicited, obscene and harmful packages” over the course of 18 months. The ordeal reportedly began in May of 2019, when a chocolate penis was sent to Carretta’s office inside a package “designed to disguise the true nature of its contents.” In the suit, Carretta claims the edible penis caused him to suffer “fear, apprehension, harm, and emotional distress.” Certainly plenty to unpack there.

The mayhem continued in November 2020, when Carretta received a “spring-loaded glitter bomb” tucked into another nondescript package. The suit states: “Carretta opened the package (and) the glitter bomb exploded in his face, causing glitter to strike him with force in the eyes, nose, and mouth.” The glitter also reportedly became “lodged in Mr. Carretta’s clothing, as well as a nearby desk, files and carpet.” Finally, later that month, Carretta received a package addressed to “Fat Midget” that contained “chocolate imitation feces.” The suit claims that Carretta was “offended that the package of chocolate imitation feces came in contact with his body.” I do have questions about how the chocolate poop came in contact with his body. Was there smearing involved? The details remain unclear.

Carretta is seeking damages of $75,000, along with court fees and post-judgment interest. Penn Live reports that the lawsuit also names an unidentified individual who allegedly ordered the products.

Staff writer @ The Takeout, joke writer elsewhere. Wrangling dogs and pork shoulder in Chicago.

DISCUSSION

Now I’ll give him the glitter bomb, because that shit is unpleasant and might actually be dangerous depending on how it is packed. The chocolate poop is questionable, depending on how it is packed and how quickly it can be distinguished from real poop. And the “Fat Midget” address label is just an insult with no punchline behind it at all. All of those, a harassment lawsuit might be justified for.

The chocolate penis though? Even if they decorated it with a blob of fresh cream, that is neither insulting, nuisance value, or injurious. The only way receiving those would ruin my day is with the weight gain.