California Dairy "Dispensary" Wants To Make Milk The New Weed

It's no secret that the dairy industry is struggling. Americans just aren't drinking milk like they used to. The country's two biggest milk processors have claimed bankrupcy. Milk has been losing market share to nut juice. Consumers are learning how bad dairy is for the environment. Its most recent high-profile appearance was at the Oscars, when Joaquin Phoenix used his speech to proselytize about notoriously inhumane dairy farming practices. So what's an industry to do when it has become persona non grata? It does what any outcast seeking the acceptance of the cool kids does: it turns to marijuana.

In a recent press release, the California Milk Advisory Board is inviting people to "the wholesome new dispensary in town" that is "doling out the original edibles: California Based Dairy (CBD)." Yes, this is 100% real.

The California Dairy Dispensary popup event is happening on February 22 in Venice, California. The press release says that the "dispensary" will "highlight the natural, mood-enhancing properties of California dairy foods as represented by varieties of cheese, micro-dosed butters, flavor-infused yogurts and rolled ice cream—all the TLC with zero THC or cannabis."

The popup is the next step in the California Milk Advisory Board's campaign to make milk your drug of choice, following the release of this trippy, expensive-looking ad last October, which somehow has only 2,694 views. Eighty of those views were me immediately after discovering it. Please enjoy.