Jacinda Ardern is so many things: the prime minister of New Zealand. The world’s youngest head of government (she took office at age 37). The second head of government to give birth in office. A true leader, taking a 20% pay cut amid a pandemic so first responders and health care workers don’t have to. And now, Jacinda Ardern is a deeply cursed cake, one whose image will keep you awake at night, terrified to carry on living after gazing upon this ghastly visage of horrors.
The cake’s baker is Laura Daniel, a kiwi comedian and judge on this season of New Zealand’s Dancing With The Stars. “They say don’t bake your Heroes,” she wrote on Instagram, somehow brave enough to share her monstrosity with the world. “But I wanted to try anyway.” She made the cake on the baking competition show Seven Sharp. Daniel apparently modeled her grotesquery off of the cover of Ardern’s book, An Extraordinary Leader, though the similarities are few. What began as an attempt to honor her hero turned into a freakish confection, one for which Daniel is “deeply sorry.”
I can’t pretend to know what ingredients went into Ardern’s likeness; her hair looks like licorice, her desperate blue eyes, screaming “HELP ME,” look like candy. The worst element, by far, are the teeth. (Okay, the lumpy white skin is terrifying, too.) Daniel clarified in another Instagram post that the teeth were part of her Jacinda Ardern costume when she played the PM on the comedy news show Jono and Ben. Ardern, ever gracious, appeared on the show’s final episode with Daniel. Anyway, let’s end this with a photo of the real Jacinda Ardern, who is not at all freakish and wants students to have healthy lunches: