Taste testing Fentimans' weird, wonderful, botanical soft drinks
There’s about one week left of Dryuary, and if you’ve lasted this long, congratulations! Also, I feel you. I have been…
Grocery
A blind taste test to determine the best boxed mac-and-cheese
Welcome to Cheese Week, The Takeout’s weeklong praise of cheeses.
Taste-testing Costco’s $20 “craft brewed” beer variety pack
With the recent demise of Kirkland Signature Light beer, Kirkland Signature variety pack is now Costco’s only…
Are Kellogg’s new Frosted Flakes and Rice Krispies spinoffs worthy of the originals?
Like movie studios who must milk every possible iteration of a superhero franchise for at least a dozen spinoffs, food …
What’s the best mass-market hard cider?
Though it’s often lumped in with beer on store shelves and bar menus, cider is a category all its own. It’s actually…
In search of the best Frankenstein’d candy combos
The surprising combo of candy corn and peanuts took our sugar-addled brains to some strange places. What further…
A taste test to determine the best supermarket frozen pizza
Frozen pizza is the bastion of people who have no other alternatives: Too broke or hungry to cough up the dough or wait…
Gourd to death: Eating through Trader Joe’s 2018 pumpkin-spiced orgy
Every month has its own flavor. December tastes like candy canes and hot cocoa. March tastes like Shamrock shakes. July…
Which store-bought cookie dough tastes best raw? (Asking for a friend)
I was at a grade-school sleepover when a friend’s older sister entered the rec-room basement with a tube of…
A blind taste test to determine the best store-bought chocolate chip cookie
Welcome to Chocolate Chip Cookie Week, celebrating one of America’s most iconic and widely loved comfort foods.
Ope, hey, is Milwaukee-style pizza a thing?
Lingering in my supermarket’s frozen pizza aisle as I frequently do, I recently spied a new brand that caught my eye: O…
A scientifically rigorous test to determine the ideal ketchup-to-mayo fry sauce ratio
There’s a condiment on the market called Mayochup for those who’ve found it too laborious to mix ketchup with…
It's the store-bought rotisserie chicken smackdown!
Ladies and gentleman! Live from Takeout Memorial Coliseum, we’ve got a real slobberknocker of a card for you, pitting…
What’s the best-tasting supermarket brand coffee?
For all the coin I spend at Starbucks (now that I’m back on the caffeine wagon), you’d think I would just take some of…
A blind taste test to determine the best lime seltzer
Other than oxygen, I’m pretty sure that the substance I mainly live off of is seltzer water. The first day I walked…
A blind taste test to determine the best steak sauce
Does a perfect steak sauce exist? Some claim no sauce is necessary—a nicely charred medium-rare ribeye requires no…
Trader Joe's xiao long bao is—dare this Chinese food writer say it—pretty decent
If I’m forced to burn my Chinese card at the end of this review, I will grasp onto it with white knuckles until the…
In Lay's 2018 chips saluting American regional flavors, the best come from the Central time zone
For the past several years, Lay’s left the decision of creating a new national potato chip flavor to the American…
Which breakfast cereal makes the most delicious cereal milk?
Gird yourself. Hold onto something steady. The following statement may make sensitive readers uncomfortable and angry:…
A blind taste test to determine the best hot dogs
I gotta tell you man, I’m scared of bacon and hot dogs. Are they delicious? Yes. Do they increase the risk of…