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Southwest peanuts: like taking a flight, only there’s no plane and you don’t actually go anywhere

Illustration for article titled Southwest peanuts: like taking a flight, only there’s no plane and you don’t actually go anywhere

Last year Southwest Airlines decided to discontinue the practice of serving peanuts on flights, in hopes that preventing those with severe peanut allergies from dying on its airplanes. While you’re still able to get pretzels, BelVita Biscuits, and other snacks on their flights, Southwest worries that you may be missing its peanuts, which were exceptionally beloved for... tasting like peanuts, or something? I mean, they’re peanuts. You can buy them at any store, but maybe they taste better in an airplane? I don’t know how peanut aviation science works.

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For those of you that have spent the past year heartbroken, you’ll be happy to know that peanuts are back, baby! You can buy them in the official Southwest Online Store. In other news, there’s an official Southwest Online Store!

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For the low low price of $29, you, too, can own a limited edition Southwest lunchbox containing two 10-oz. packages of peanuts—honey roasted, and lightly salted. The product is so popular that it’s currently sold out, but you can still place orders for the next shipment of lunchbox nuts, which will be shipping out in mid-October. If that’s too long to wait, you can order this official Southwest Peanut Pillow to cry into. Or, you can just order directly from their supplier, who will sell you three pounds of peanuts for only $4.99, and maybe throw a kid a buck to repeatedly kick the back of your chair while you’re eating them.

Allison Robicelli is The Takeout staff writer, a former professional chef, author of three books, and The People's Hot Pocket Princess. Questions about recipes/need cooking advice? Tweet @Robicellis.

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msanthropesmr1970
msanthropesmr1970

How about "Ocean Breeze Soap gets you clean?"