On Wednesday, a bull got loose in West Baltimore, which seems to be a regular occurrence in this city. Two bulls escaped from a slaughterhouse to hang out at a nearby apartment complex not even four months ago. Back in 2016, two completely different bulls escaped to go hang out at, for some reason, the same exact apartment complex. In 2014, a bull was shot and killed police a few blocks. away. Seriously.
Perhaps this all corresponds to some sort of divine astrological occurrence, or perhaps there’s some sort of bovine spiritual vortex spiraling madly below Pennsylvania Avenue. I do not care what it is about West Baltimore that compels bulls to run for sweet freedom, I just know that whenever this happens I am dropping everything I am doing and going on nonstop bull watch. If you are speaking to me, it better be about a bull running wild in West Baltimore, because otherwise, I do not have the time for you .
Just look at this freaking bull, guys. Look at him. That’s a great freaking bull.
He’s okay, by the way. A bunch of people from the zoo shot him with three tranquilizer darts, and he’s now resting comfortably at his breeding farm. Now that all that’s settled, its time for a fun bull fact for Fun Fact Friday! (We got there eventually)
About 14% of all American dairy cattle can trace their lineage back to one single bull. Chief was born in North Carolina in 1962, and when he started breeding, all of his daughters had gigantic udders that produced huge quantities of milk. He had the most sought after sperm in the country, and he was exceptionally virile: he sired over 16,000 daughters, and has over 500,000 granddaughters and two million great granddaughters. I thought about researching exactly how much bull semen that is volume-wise, but I talked myself down from that ledge. I’m proud of myself for that.