Page Six Style recently asked Brooke Shields about her holiday gift strategies. (’Tis the season, I guess.) As it happens, she has a go-to gift, and it’s a salad dressing she describes as “very special.”
What salad dressing, you ask? No idea. Either Page Six didn’t think the name of this fancy-ass salad dressing was worth printing, or more likely, Brooke Shields can’t tell us the name because it’s only available to people who are able to visit the salad dressing distillery on a secret rich person island, and she’s walking a very fine line by even telling us that such a salad dressing exists. She’s, like, inches away from being shunned by her cabal, but James Corden and James Harden and James Taylor don’t quite have the nerve to officially strike her from the yacht’s official roster of permitted sunbathers, because if they do then they’ll be off her Christmas list, and the dressing is, like, really good, you know?
Shields may be prevented from speaking its name aloud by the blood pact into which she entered with Broadway sensation Bernadette Peters, NFL Hall of Famer Barry Sanders, acclaimed violinist Itzhak Perlman, and the ghost of actress/inventor Hedy Lamarr, but she did let drop a few tantalizing details. Here, the information Shields risked so much to share:
“It’s made by this French man who fought in the war. He came back after being stationed in France and couldn’t find a good French dressing, so he created his own... It’s been in my stepmom’s refrigerator and my refrigerator for maybe 30 or 40 years now.”
And, Ms. Shields, how do you get this mystery dressing?
“You buy it on memo, and you get a bill... And if you don’t pay it on time, you’re crossed off the list and you’ll never get it again.”
I have Googled the phrase “buy it on memo,” and have found precisely nothing. This leads me to believe that memo is the name of the rich person island. It’s in a remote island chain in the Mediterranean, between E-Blast and Syllabus.
Shields also gives it as a housewarming gift, so when you finally buy your terrace house in the off-the-grid rich person ranch in the wilds of Montana, perhaps you’ll get one.