Sometimes a story presents itself that is so inane, so ridiculous, so completely bananas that it veers into sheer genius. The type of story that leaves you staring blankly at a screen, completely incredulous. A story that is barely but a few sentences, yet leaves you with so many questions that will never be answered. This is one of those stories.
The Telegraph reports that earlier this week, British man Daniel Parra-Braun was sentenced to five years in prison for a 12 hour crime robbery spree involving two McDonald’s. At both locations he passed a note to the cashier on duty which read: “I am armed. Give till cash now.” He was not actually armed.
One McDonald’s refused to hand over any money, and he left without incident.
At the second McDonald’s location, the cashier informed Parra-Braun that it was not possible to open the cash register unless he ordered food. So, as any sensible criminal would do, he ordered a single cheeseburger, took out his wallet, and handed the cashier a crisp £5 note. Once the transaction was completed, the cashier gave him £4 and the rest of the till as change. Parra-Braun left the McDonald’s £136 and one cheeseburger richer.
I have no commentary to add to this. This story is absolutely perfect just the way it is.