The loss of avocado toast and other unforeseen consequences of Brexit

British PM Boris Johnson tastes Scottish whisky
Dear Brits: Boris Johnson can live on Scottish whisky and so can you.
Photo: WPA Pool (Getty Images)

The witching hour is nigh for Brexit, the UK’s long-threatened and long-negotiated divorce from the EU. In less than three weeks, Britain will no longer be a part of Europe, at least not politically. But there are still quite a few practical issues that need to be ironed out at the negotiation table. One of those is the issue of trade. Namely: will it be possible for Brits to continue to enjoy avocado toast since all avocados consumed in Great Britain are imported?

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The Daily Mail posted a helpful infographic of a table laden with some of the most popular foods in the UK and predictions about their availability should Brexit happen without any trade provisions in place.

Avocado toast will be out for sure. So will banana smoothies, pizza, and ham. Also wine and tomatoes. And maybe even tea and coffee from South America, Africa, and Asia if the borders are busy. That great British stalwart fish and chips may become a rarity as well, because most cod is imported from Norway and Iceland.

So where does that leave British eaters? (Besides the option of smuggling, of course.) Well, there are plenty of peas and carrots and beets in Britain to feed everyone, for starters. And there’s also plenty of meat and bread and potatoes for chips. And lobster! Who needs fish when you have lobster? Or wine when you can have fine Scottish whisky and local beer? Maybe things won’t be so bad after all. As long as they hide all the copies of Elizabeth David’s books, all will be well.

Associate editor of The Takeout. Chicagoan. Owned by dog.

DISCUSSION

I get that change is hard. But no amount of old, white men and their desperate flailing is going to change the fact that we have a global society and should adapt our policies accordingly.

Jesus H Christ. Imagine if we had had GLOBAL cooperation with PPE, medical knowledge etc? And a few halfway decent leaders.

New Zealand or bust.