Some sentences ooze UK culture to the point that I can feel myself transforming into a human-flavored crumpet. In Scotland, it might be “Hoots mon!,” while in Britain it’s “That lad’s pinched my wellies and gone on holiday with ol’ Boris.” Today in glorious Northern Irish vernacular, I give you: “Edwin Poots issues wee jelly and gravy shortage warning.”
According to the BBC, Northern Ireland agricultural minister Poots warned countrymen that processed goods like jelly or gravy could be unavailable in Northern Ireland at the end of the Brexit protocol grace period, which concludes April 1. The BBC reports that the country is currently enjoying a post-Brexit “soft-touch” period that will allow the UK to ease into new food product protocol. But after April 1, protocol will require Northern Ireland to follow the EU’s rules, jumping through new bureaucratic hoops while importing British goods. Goods like jelly and gravy. Goods that make the difference between a pleasant Sunday dinner and a buck eejit.
The forewarned shortages come at a time when Northern Ireland is already struggling with depleted supermarket shelves as food suppliers grapple with new rules for importing British products. (It’s definitely confusing, but this BBC article does a great job of explaining the situation.) In the announcement, Poots stood by a previous claim that action was needed to avert “a major crisis” over food supplies. “We do not need these barriers,” he said. “We need common sense, particularly from the EU.” Common sense, underground jelly trafficking—I’m game for whatever the citizens of Northern Ireland need to do to regain their steady flow of jelly and gravy.