The World's Most Perfect Job Doesn't Exi—

Chief Hiking Officer. We repeat: Chief Hiking Officer. CHO for short. This is a real job, with a real paycheck attached, and some of the payment comes in the form of beer. Just get thee to the application portal already.

Devils Backbone Brewing Company, whose good ideas we've covered in the past, has opened applications for a brand-new position that requires one lucky candidate to hike the entirety of the Appalachian Trail, from Georgia to Maine—all told, over 2,200 miles of fresh air and more nature than the average person could probably handle. The hike would begin in 2021 and take several months to complete. In return, the CHO receives a $20,000 stipend and lots of free beer.

The position is ultimately a walking, backpacking promotional tool for DB, a brewery that sits just off the Appalachian Trail in the Blue Ridge Mountains in Virginia. According to the company's website, the Chief Hiking Officer must also be a "Creative Content Expert" who's passionate about craft beer, so that the brewery's social media pages might overflow with dazzling posts from the middle of the wilderness, coupled with a sweaty sunlit can of Gold Leaf Lager. To that end, the company also teases that the CHO might even "get to assist in some product research. Yep, that's exactly what you think it means."

Anyone interested in applying can head here to submit a 1-minute video detailing why they, and they alone, have the right stuff to be Devils Backbone's CHO. The deadline is July 31, which gives you plenty of time to gussy up your Instagram grid for the brewery's careful inspection. If you've been thinking about getting away from it all and losing yourself in nature, it might be ideal to have someone else subsidize that adventure for you. That way, if you tap out after six days or so, you haven't spent way too much of your own money on your fancy gear or fancy beer.