Photo: Justin Sullivan (Getty Images)

July 10 update: CBC is reporting that the 6-year-old McDonald’s meal has been removed from eBay, because the auction site prohibits selling “unpackaged or expired food.” The Takeout placed a bid for $77 Canadian dollars, but was outbid—it went all the way up to $150. Man, people.


When I awoke to news that an Ontario man was auctioning off a 6-year-old, “never eaten” McDonald’s burger and fries, I immediately sent a message to my coworkers: “We are bidding on this.” A reply came back in seconds: “Hell yes we are.”

https://www.ebay.ca/itm/6-YEAR-OLD-McDonalds-Cheeseburger-and-Fries-Mickey-Ds-Cheese-Burger-Fries/202361307718

So, credit card hot in his hand, our fearless editor-in-chief Kevin Pang bid $77 real Canadian dollars on a decrepit but disconcertingly preserved hockey puck of a burger. The CBC’s story notes there were no bids as of last night; but today, the war is on, with more than 20 current bids.

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Why are we doing this? I ask you instead: Why the hell not?

“It basically has petrified itself. It looks very sellable,” cheeseburger-and-fries owner Dave Alexander told CBC. “I’m going to assume that someone’s going to rehome my cheeseburger.”

The Takeout could be that home! The desks at our Chicago offices would be the perfect environment for this adoptable, petrified patty. It’s like a pet rock—but grosser!

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I’m trying not to get my hopes up too much. After all, the auction still has six days left, and eventually we’re going to get a call from the accounting department about our company card expenses (again), and the desiccated fast-food meal could tragically elude us. Cross your fingers for us, team.

* Oops, we’ve already been outbid.