Bon Jové takes top rosé slot in Wine Spectator’s top 100 list

Photo: Paul R. Giunta / Contributor (Getty Images)

Picture it: A man rushes up to one Jon Bon Jovi and whispers some news in his ear. A smile slowly spreads over the rock star’s face—his wine, Hampton Water, has been named the best rosé of the year by Wine Spectator, a prestigious honor indeed! He lives for moments like this. He sips his pale pink wine, gives himself a wink in the mirror, and struts on stage.


This ain’t a song for the brokenhearted

(Bawm bawm. Bawm.)

No silent prayer for a wine that just started

(Bawm bawm. Bawm.)

Hampton Water ain’t just a rosé in the crowd

It got a pretty big honor that we’re shouting out loud

(THWOMP THWOMP)

It’s my wiiiiiine! Thanks Wine Spectator

For naming it the best rosé this year

“A dash of minerality” is riiiiiight

It’s my wiiiiiiine! 83rd place, oh yay

Like Frankie said, “I rosé all day,”

Calling it “a crowd-pleaser” was riiiiiiiight

It’s! My! Wine!

(Bawm bawm. Bawm.)

This is for ones who wrote, “A nicely crafted rosé, with a hint of creamy richness lining the strawberry, melon and white cherry flavors. A dash of minerality imparts depth through the long, mouthwatering finish. A crowd-pleaser. Grenache, Cinsault, Mourvèdre and Syrah. Drink now. 35,000 cases made.”

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(Bawm bawm. Bawm.)

For Tommy and Gina, who can appreciate a solid $25 bottle with a 90-point score from a prestigious outlet and appreciate that this is an insanely drinkable French wine that really overdelivers on the price point.

(Bawm bawm. Bawm.)

Tomorrow’s getting harder, make no mistake

Because French winemaker Gérard Bertrand, who collaborated with me (Jon Bon Jovi) and my son Jesse to make the wine, told The Drinks Business in March that the entire 2017 production sold out. “The plan is to make more next year to satisfy demand,” he said. So tomorrow’s getting harder because you can’t drink it tomorrow, get it? That’s harder.

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You’ve got to make your own wine and also make your own breaks.

(THWOMP THWOMP)

It’s my wiiiiiiiiine! It’s a blend of grapes-uh,

Grenache, Cinsault, and Mourvèdre!

It’s a very pale pink, and not too dryyyyyyyyy

It’s my wiiiiiiiiine! My heart is like an open highway

Like Frankie said, “I rosé all day,”

Calling it “a crowd-pleaser” was riiiiiiiight

It’s! My! Wine!


Here is what Bon Jovi actually said about his wine, Hampton Water, taking the number-83 slot on Wine Spectator’s 2018 Top 100, a placement that makes it the top-ranked rosé (and one of only two rosés on the list):

“It’s an incredible honour to be on Wine Spectator’s Top 100 Wines of 2018, let alone ranked as the top rosé. It’s a testament to all of our hard work and I could not be more proud to share our excitement for, and love of, Hampton Water with people all over the world.”

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So what if people might roll their eyes when you start buying Bon Jovi’s rosé by the case next year? It’s going to be a hot commodity, you’ve got to hold on to what you’ve got. And friends like those give love a bad name. Such friendships are not wanted, dead or alive. As a wise winemaker once said:

You better stand tall when they’re calling you out

Don’t bend, don’t break, baby, don’t back down

Frankly, if anyone gives you shit about the wine you like, their love is like bad medicine. You should just go home and lay you down on a bed of rosés.

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Folks, tip your bartenders, I’ll be here all night—though watch out in the bathroom, the floor is slippery when wet.

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About the author

Allison Shoemaker

Contributor, The A.V. Club and The Takeout. Allison loves television, bourbon, and dramatically overanalyzing social interactions.