Somehow, this story comes out of Albuquerque and not Florida. (Is there a disturbance in the universe?) It feels Floridian because this story concerns not just unwanted bologna sandwich deliveries—the headline “Stranger repeatedly delivers unwanted bologna” is really something to behold—but unwanted bologna sandwich deliveries that smell of urine. What?
According to news channel KOB-4, residents of an Albuquerque neighborhood have repeatedly found strange bologna sandwiches in grocer bags at their doors. What at first looked like a gift was quickly determined to be something more foul, as the sandwiches smell of urine. Police are baffled and residents are baffled; no one has yet determined a suspect or motive in the case. Some people are so fed up, they’re leaving the neighborhood.
“They’re actually moving out because they’re tired of it,” resident Sharisha Morrison told KOB-4.
Morrison says she’s set up a camera to try to identify the man who’s dropping off the sandwich, but so far no one has recognized him. Police have said they’ll increase area patrols, and are urging anyone who recognizes the man to call authorities. KOAT-7 reports the man has been leaving sandwiches on the doorstep of a single mother, who is concerned for her and her daughter’s safety.
It’s not the first time bologna has come to the attention of New Mexico law enforcement. (Editor’s note: Just really glad I got to type that sentence, you guys.) Customer and Border Protection Agents have repeatedly seized illegal Mexican bologna smuggled over the Southern border because it has the potential to introduce diseases into the U.S. pork supply.