Sometimes social media isn’t the absolute worst. This morning I learned that my friend Jonathan Surratt, who has a food blog called Bounded by Buns (which I wholeheartedly suggest you read), created an unholy version of what may or may not be considered a hot dog. I found this out via Twitter:
Normally a post about a hot dog wouldn’t be a cause for alarm, but the thing is, Surratt made a hot dog completely out of... candy corn. The image immediately caught my eye because it looks like some kind of radioactive clown turd in a bun. Scrumptious.
It can easily be argued that this isn’t technically a hot dog, but in this case, I’m at a loss for words to the point where it doesn’t matter. I mean, you know how divisive candy corn can be. But turned into a sausage-shaped filling, all bets are off.
Surratt was initially inspired by a Twitter conversation that three other friends of mine (one of whom was also featured on The Takeout) were having, about hot dog buns filled with candy corn. He decided to take that one step further by fusing a bunch of candy corn together into a log.
Surratt first started by chopping the candy corn up into pieces, separated by colors, orange, yellow, and white. Then he simply microwaved the candy corn until it was soft and malleable, and hand-formed it into a hot dog-like shape, which fit snugly into a homemade bun.
I asked him how he felt about the whole thing, and he said, “I spend a lot of time on my blog trying to make things look tasty and cooking things that I think people will want to try. At some point during the past 48 hours I just gave up. At first I was worried that the colors were all running together during the melting process so it wasn’t going to look good. But then I just gave up and embraced the stupidity of the whole thing.”
Every hot dog needs condiments, obviously, so he striped the thing with ketchup and mustard and tried it. His reaction wasn’t positive. He said, “It did not taste good. Turns out that biting through the equivalent of 10 to 20 candy corns all melted together is also not great for the teeth.”
His reaction to the condiments on top was also not exactly his definition of a good time. “Mustard and candy corn is a flavor that took me a few minutes and at least one beer to get past.” He added, “The ketchup melded pretty well with the candy corn though. Next time I think going with sweeter things like ketchup or a sweet pickle relish might actually work. But the candy corn is just too dense.”
His final conclusion was, “I regret now that I didn’t batter and fry one to make an actual Candy Corn Dog on a stick. But there’s always next year.” Next Halloween can’t come soon enough.