This website will pay you 500 clams to taste-test Halloween candy

Pile of traditional orange and yellow candy corn
Image: Tetra Images (Getty Images)

The best part of growing up with siblings is the annual Halloween Candy Swap, an essential part of Cavity Canon that involves ditching your costume, sitting cross-legged on the ground, and sorting your candy into three piles: Delicious, Acceptable, and Inferior. At that point, you trick your kid brother into swapping his mini Twix (Delicious) for your Bottle Caps (Inferior). Great news for those of us feeling nostalgic for a Candy Swap: One website is paying one lucky taste tester 500 big ones to sort the good Halloween candy from the grim.


The promotion is sponsored by Finder Media, a site geared toward helping users make “everyday life decisions such as finding a credit card, buying a home and getting health insurance.” The site’s goal is to help users navigate those complex decisions—decisions that now include which kind of Halloween candy to cram down your gullet. Earlier this year, Finder offered payouts for professional ice cream and cheeseburger testers.

Should you accept this quest, Finder will deliver the Halloween candy to your home. At that point, you’ll assess the goods using predetermined metrics including taste, flavor profile and complexity, portion size, “value for money,” wrapper appeal, and something called a “jaw ache score.” Seem too good to be true? The company’s website explicitly states that the promotion is “not a trick,” which is, of course, a crucial part of any gentleman’s agreement.

To apply, just go here and fill out the information requested. All you have to do is explain why you’re the best person for the job. You also need to be at least 21 years of age and live in the U.S. or Canada. Interested parties can enter until 9 p.m. PST on October 31, with candy testing taking place in early November.

Staff writer @ The Takeout, joke writer elsewhere. Wrangling dogs and pork shoulder in Chicago.



But what if I don’t want to be paid in clams? After eating all that candy I don’t think clams would go down well. Well, they may go down, but then they’d come right back up. IYKWIM.