"Ballistic" woman takes baseball bat to Rally's windows over lack of chocolate ice cream

Photo: hdere (Getty Images)

Once in a while, everybody’s sweet tooth takes over. For one St. Louis woman, however, when satisfaction was denied to hers, she handled business the way one might when denied sugary satisfaction. With a baseball bat.

The Smoking Gun, drawing from a Metropolitan Police Department of St. Louis report, tells of a woman who, at 2:25 a.m., passed through a local Rally’s in search of chocolate ice cream. Chocolate, very specifically. Why must this be specified? Well:

Investigators say the woman went ballistic after Rally’s workers informed her they only had vanilla ice cream available. Upon learning that there was no chocolate ice cream in stock, she spit on employees and then set upon the business’s windows with a baseball bat.

It is unclear whether the woman entered Rally’s with a baseball bat or retrieved it from her car upon learning that no chocolate ice cream would be forthcoming.

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The woman took the bat and shattered the windows while threatening the three employees on shift (who went otherwise unharmed), before fleeing the scene. Authorities are still searching for the woman as of this article’s publication.

While we here at The Takeout love some good ice cream as much as anybody, we’ve never found ourselves in that rare, baseball-bat kind of love with it, we have to say. But we also haven’t tried Rally’s chocolate soft serve, which the company promotes with unintended irony: “Chocolate lovers, this is going to hit you right in your cone zone.”

While we’re incredibly glad that the terrorized employees are as fine as one can be after witnessing such an event firsthand, we will also just toss out there that 30 Rockefeller Plaza might be a solid place to start looking:

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