Bidding now open for 5-foot-long bacon couch

Photo: CarlosRojas20 (iStock)

If you’re breakfast-obsessed and enjoy sitting, you may want to bid on this beautiful bacon chaise lounge and its accompanying piece, a gigantic sunny-side-up egg.... thing. Maybe you could use it as a low coffee table, or con people into thinking you’re classy by saying it’s an original Jeff Koons (from his early Breakfast Period). Regardless of what excuses you come up with to justify this purchase, you can be certain that everyone who sees the 5-foot-long bacon and 10-foot-long eggs will be super impressed.

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This chance of a lifetime is brought to us by the Kentwood, Michigan’s Woodland Mall, which is currently undergoing a $90 million renovation. The oversized bacon and eggs had been part of a breakfast-themed children’s area, which had delighted local kids and hungry adults for over 20 years. The play area also featured a waffle, sausage links, a banana, and a bowl of the most sensible of all breakfast cereals, shredded wheat. Those items were donated to a local church, but the bacon and eggs were sent to the auction block to raise money for a very worthy charity. All proceeds of the sale will go to Kids Food Basket, which provides healthy take-home dinners to schoolchildren living at or near the poverty line.

The set is valued at $1,200, but honestly, who could put a price on something this cool? Bidding opened at $250, as of this post, is up to $561. The auction runs until 8pm on Sunday, September 15th, so make sure you get your bid in before this once in a lifetime opportunity slips through your bacon grease-coated fingers.

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About the author

Allison Robicelli

Allison Robicelli is The Takeout staff writer, a former professional chef, host of The Robicelli Argument Clinic Podcast, the author of three books, and a swan meat influencer.