Jeff Ruby's discussions

A friend pointed out that it looks more like pubic hair. Or else the vaginas I’ve seen have been alien vaginas.

I suppose it wasn’t, being General Mills, and all. But it always felt like the laziest, baseline-iest cereal in the pantry. It was like, Fine, I’ll eat the Kix.

I never could figure out why HoneyComb was allowed in our world but Frosted Flakes weren’t. The lines parents draw in the sand are so weird. 

I pray that my wife does not find out that this is a thing that exists.

TasteeO Lung, oddly enough, can only be cured by eating more TasteeO’s.

Yeah that was one of those cereals that you could fool mom into getting. It’s got a healthy-sounding name and appearance. But: SUGAR BOMB

Cereal as Existential Crisis

Thanks for the kind words. I love the Sixth Ingredient Rule. Your mom’s code of ethics was at the same time peculiar but completely familiar.

My nemesis. I bet he eats yogurt, the monster

It seems like the moral here is not “Denying your kids sweet stuff backfires.” It’s “When they’re old enough to choose what they eat, they will go through a phase of eating shit. Then they will grow up.”

We of course did not have Pop Tarts, but rather something called Toast ‘Ems. Which had more of that inner fruity stuff that burned the roof of your mouth like a mother.

I dream of that first bite of Grape Nuts. They go beyond cereal and enter into some other holy realm. A realm that gets mushy in about 30 seconds.

This is a big pet peeve of mine. That bag! It only leads to heartache and waste.

Did your sister eat the good stuff in front of you, all smug-like?

One pig-out, and then satisfaction? That is amazing. I want to be you.

Yes. I still crave Life more often than any other cereal. And the funny thing is, the kids go through these phases where they fight over the box of Life like it’s ambrosia or whatever. And then the next day, they laugh at me when I try to pour them a bowl.

Worked for me. Then again, I have to put almonds in the yogurt to stomach it.

He also had rum and Playboy magazines under his bed. It was a wonderland.

Frosted Flakes. I always thought Tony the Tiger was a pain in the ass. Leave the poor kids alone, you nosy feline.