It is possible that, when it arrives this fall, the birthday cake-flavored Auntie Anne’s pretzel will be a thing of beauty. It could change pretzels for us for all time. We may never look at a mall kiosk the same way again. So acknowledged. I love a pleasant surprise, so consider me Team Hopefully These Are Actually Good.
But in this moment, I have to say, who the hell voted for a birthday cake-flavored pretzel? Show yourselves. I need to understand.
The background: Auntie Anne’s held a “Pretzel Nation Creation” competition over the last two months, during which members of said pretzel nation (I assume citizenship is open to all) could suggest, and then vote on, a new limited-edition flavor, set to roll out this fall. Per Fox 43 of Pennsylvania, the company received more than 650 birthday cake-related suggestions, in addition to the other suggested finalists.
After the dust settled, birthday cake won out over flavors like Caramel Apple Crème Brûlée, Chocolate Coconut, and Cotton Candy. Admittedly, none of those sound great either.
We should note that it’s apparently the 30th birthday of the ubiquitous purveyor of soft pretzels, dipping sauces, and lemonade, and so it’s a thematically sound choice. But birthday cake? Is there even a chance of achieving the salty-sweet thing with a birthday cake pretzel? Who is the target audience for such a creation, and if they were hankering for birthday cake and were near a Auntie Anne’s, wouldn’t they just go to the nearest TCBY/Mrs. Fields and get a cupcake of some kind?
Sell me. I want to believe. Who did this, and why?