Manassas, Virginia police responded to a strange incident late Saturday afternoon at a Giant Food location. The store’s loss-prevention employee—someone whose job it is to watch for theft—reportedly noticed a man selecting produce off the shelf, sticking it down his pants, rubbing it on his butt, and returning the produce to the shelf. This man, it should be noted, is not 12 years old; he is in fact 27 years old, according to news station WTVR.
Yes, an ass from Manassas is charged with rubbing grocery produce on his ass. (I think that’s from Dr. Seuss.)
But how did police charge this man for his butt-rubbing? He faces charges of indecent exposure and destruction of property, because several pallets of unspecified produce had to be thrown away for fear that this man had put the goods on his butt.
In a follow-up story, news station WJLA reports the man says his actions were intended to be a prank that would be filmed and uploaded to YouTube. He is scheduled to appear in court in November.
Anyway folks, always rinse your produce.