Photo: Pacific Press / Contributor (Getty Images)

Let’s not dilly-dally. Here’s the butthole:

Yes, we buried the hell out of the lede, because that’s a Cabbage Patch face coming out of a birth canal, complete with chocolate sprinkle-stubble and two buttcheek cakes. But the butthole is essential, so it gets the spot in the headline. You clicked on it because of the word “butthole,” and no, we’re not ashamed. It is absolutely not clickbait—there’s the butthole; promise fulfilled. We had a vigorous debate about the most startling element of this cake in The Takeout’s morning staff meeting, and the butthole came out the winner for two reasons:

  1. It is a butthole, on a cake. A small pink butthole. Buttholes and cakes should never go together, but the word “butthole” is inherently funny, so it manages to be both funny and “noooooooo” all at once.
  2. It is the presence of that butthole that makes it clear precisely what is happening on this cake. Without that butthole, it’s much harder to conceptualize what’s happening. Oh, you’ll get there eventually—the frosting-labia should tip you off—but when you see that pink dot, you have to wonder what it is, and then it all comes together. It’s like the thing you do when you’re looking at a Magic Eye picture where you let your eyes go all soft and then the image comes into focus, only it’s a butthole on a cake.

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Anyway, Amy Schumer’s sister-in-law gave her this cake. Related: Amy Schumer’s sister-in-law might be a genius.