And lo, as it was written in the stars, a specious map of the most popular Valentine’s Day candies by state has come to Earth, and we must honor it. For it is in these maps of the American consumer’s eating habits, however dubious the data might be, that we see ourselves for who we truly are. Or... something. In other words, Valentine’s Day is coming up, and we’re all buying a bunch of candy to celebrate because we can’t go out to dinner like we normally would, and somebody decided to make a map. Makes sense!
This latest reflection of our deepest candy selves comes from Zippia, a job-hunting firm that occasionally pulls fun tidbits from Google Trends and whips them into aesthetically pleasing infographics for our reading pleasure.
“Using Google Trends, we determined what Valentine’s Day candy each state eats a disproportionate amount of,” Zippia explains. “We defined Valentine’s Day candy as candies that peaked in search volume for the big day. From there, we determined what candy is searched a disproportionately high amount in each state.” Of course, it’s worth noting that searching for a candy is not tantamount to buying it. I don’t need to Google “candy hearts” to know that CVS overfloweth with them starting in January.
Speaking of which, only four states appeared to care much about conversation hearts, the most stereotypical of Valentine’s Day candy. Those chalky little guys topped the search results in North Dakota, Iowa, Michigan, and Maine. (I don’t know why, but this absolutely feels right to me. I like to imagine Mainers steadfastly appreciating their staid, traditional Necco treats.) A whopping 45 states opted for chocolate over non-chocolate candy, and to them I say, more Sour Punch Hearts for me.
As in past years, I must balk at the inclusion of Chocolate Roses. Is there really such a preponderance of people gifting chocolate flowers to their sweethearts? They’re hollow, hard to eat, and taste a lot like the thin, cardboardy chocolate inside an advent calendar. But their presence at gas stations, convenience stores, and card shops certainly make them a convenient option when you’re scrambling to convince your significant other that you didn’t forget about Valentine’s Day.
In my home state of Illinois, chocolate covered strawberries topped the search results. I have thoughts about that. But hey, it’s a more appropriate choice than whatever the hell California’s got planned for Love Day.