Americans have spoken, and their favorite holiday cookies are boring

Giant gingerbread man with ominous lighting
Photo: NurPhoto (Getty Images)

Listen, I’m not gonna kick a holiday cookie out of bed. Give me a spread of festive desserts, tuck a napkin into my collar, and leave me alone for a few hours. I’ll be the jolliest son of a bitch around. That being said, although I don’t discriminate against holiday cookies, I do have preferences. Of course, so do the rest of American adults: according to a recent survey conducted by OnePoll on behalf of Bob’s Red Mill, 40% of U.S. adults will drop everything for a chocolate chip cookie during the holidays.

During the study, participants were asked to select their favorite from a list of 10 crowd-pleasing holiday cookies. Chocolate chip is the definitive fave here, winning big with a whopping 40% of respondents. Somewhat surprisingly, thumbprints took last place, with only 16% of respondents citing it as their favorite. The final rankings are as follows:

1. Chocolate chip

2. Peanut butter

3. Sugar

4. Gingerbread

5. Snickerdoodle

6. Oatmeal raisin

7. Shortbread

8. Peanut butter blossoms (topped with a single chocolate Hershey’s Kiss)

9. Snowballs

10. Thumbprints

Like I said, I’m not gonna turn my nose up at any of these little confections. But I am deeply surprised to see thumbprints, shortbread, and peanut butter blossoms so low down the list. I could be wrong, but I’ve never seen a recipe for a plain ol’ peanut butter cookie that satisfies like a peanut butter blossom. And a shortbread cookie is so much more toothsome than a run-of-the-mill sugar cookie! Maybe I need to get hip with the times. In any case, the entries we received for our Holiday Cookie Contest could blow all these cookies out of the water.

Staff writer @ The Takeout, joke writer elsewhere. Wrangling dogs and pork shoulder in Chicago.

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DISCUSSION

Unsurprising because most people are boring, but c’mon, chocolate chips are every day cookies.   Holiday cookies should be special, which is why snowballs and elaborately decorated sugar cookies always come to mind first for me.