I don’t know what your angle is here, Green Giant, but something’s amiss. A new survey from the frozen and canned vegetable company proclaims broccoli America’s favorite vegetable—and by an overwhelming margin. Broccoli? Her?
The survey was based on an open-ended Suzy poll of 5,000 Americans conducted this spring. A few rogue states dissented from the green wave, with Arkansas choosing potatoes (not Idaho?), Alaska choosing asparagus (GTFO), and my own state of Montana choosing cauliflower (broccoli, but make it tasteless!).
None of this adds up. Yes, I know more Americans are hipping to broccoli’s health benefits, and that our collective discovery of roasted broccoli has done much to enhance the vegetable’s reputation, but still. Broccoli over corn? Broccoli over potatoes? Broccoli over everyone other vegetable? I can’t shake the feeling that something about these results is off. Green Giant produces all types of vegetables, though, so it doesn’t seem like they’d have a horse in the race. Or... do they? Is there some ulterior motive that’s part of some larger conspiracy? Is this a horse’s head to the bed of Big Cauliflower?!
Can someone with more free time and better detective skills take up this mystery? Sarah Koenig, are you reading this?