Photo: Silberkorn, GeorgeRudy (iStock)

There’s so much to love about Aldi! (Especially Aldi, U.K. edition.) We are very into the color-changing gin, the amazing affordable whiskey, the wine advent calendar... you get the idea. But for the first time in my tenure at The Takeout, I am not picking up what Aldi is putting down. That’s because I’ve danced this particular dance before, and I am not a fan. I’m sorry, Aldi, but chocolate wine is bad.

Aldi doesn’t just have one chocolate wine in stock for Valentine’s Day. They have two. Now, full disclosure, I have not tried these particular chocolate wines—for all I know, these are the only two good chocolate wines in the world. (Cooking Light doesn’t think so.) But in my experience as a fancy whiskey shopgirl, I’ve tried a few chocolate wines, and they are not great. They’re typically made from blending red or orange wine with stuff like chocolate, cocoa, and cream; the Petit Chocolat wine (one of the Aldi bottles) also lists neutral spirits as an ingredient. They’re insanely sweet (if you like insanely sweet, maybe this could be your jam? Maybe?), don’t taste a thing like wine, and have roughly the flavor of Hershey’s syrup with a bite. It’s a headache in Swiss Miss form.

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have chocolate with your booze, or have chocolate booze at all. Chocolate liqueurs can be great—I’m particularly partial to the Mozart liqueurs. There’s no shortage of chocolatey beers. There’s chocolate vodka. And hey, there’s also just eating chocolate and drinking wine. That’s always good.

Anyway, try it, if you think wine and chocolate milk are a natural match. Maybe eat a big meal first?

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