You could also drink it as part of this ridiculous gift set, which will set you back $850, and includes luxury headphones and a fancy cocktail set, all tucked in an intimidating aluminum case that looks like it contains the nuclear football or something.

Price: Varies, typically around $33.

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Born And Bred American Craft Vodka—Channing Tatum

Image for article titled A field guide to celebrity alcohols: Like regular booze, but famous
Photo: Karl Gustafson

What it is: A craft vodka made from Idaho potatoes and glacial water from the Grand Tetons, which is 20 times distilled and charcoal-filtered in small batches. You can try this beauty—sadly not named 21 Drink Street—in a bottle, or when seeing Magic Mike Live, where, naturally, it is served to the swooning masses. This is made by Grand Teton Distillery, and was discovered by Tatum and Jack Maloney when they went in search of the world’s best vodka, which they believed was made in the United States.

But how does it taste?: Another good one. Distilling something 20 times is ridiculous, but the results are pretty solid, so who am I to argue? It’s pretty smooth, and leaves a kind of sweet feeling on the tongue, if that makes sense. And I drank quite a bit of it last night and woke up feeling great, so thanks, Channing! I am emotionally invested in your success in ways I can’t explain or justify! Hope you’re doing well! Magic Mike XXL is an underrated gem and we’ll be calling it a classic in a decade!

How to drink it: I tasted most of these spirits with friends, and the consensus was that if you’re going to drink a famous person’s vodka straight, it should be this one, but we all preferred it with that Fever Tree tonic. Delicious. Lively. Dangerously easy-drinking, but again, I feel great today. Best served with tonic, ice, and a showing of Magic Mike XXL, an underrated gem we’ll be calling a classic in a decade. Feel free to follow up with the two Jump Streets and some more vodka.

Price: Varies, typically around $30.

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Casamigos Tequila (Blanco)—George Clooney

What it is: The tequila that made Mr. Clooney the world’s highest-paid actor over a period of time during which he made zero movies. Casamigos aims to make tequilas and mezcals you can sip straight, and which “don’t have to be covered up with salt or lime.” It’s made from Blue Weber Agave grown in Jalisco, Mexico; those agave piñas get slow-roasted for 72 hours before undergoing an 80-hour fermenetation process with proprietary yeast. The blanco, which is what I picked up, then rests for two months.

But how does it taste?: This is a pretty solid bottle. It’s smooth and soft, with just a teeny tiny sting on the end that warms rather than burns. It’s sweet, but not overwhelmingly so, and crisp, almost refreshing. You’ll probably get some citrus; Casamigos also says there are vanilla notes, but I didn’t get those at all. This is the other spirit on this list I’d sip by itself with an ice cube, but it would also make a terrific margarita that wouldn’t need a whole ton to dress it up.

How to drink it: See above. Ice cube, or maybe a very strong marg. Pairs well with Good Night And Good Luck, and as a bonus, once you’ve had a few, you’ll absolutely be able to sit through the Ocean’s sequels.

Price: I paid $40 at the shop around the corner from me; the reposado and añejo go for more.

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8 / 9

Celebrity Rosé-Off—Brad & Angelina vs. Jon Bon Jovi

Celebrity Rosé-Off—Brad & Angelina vs. Jon Bon Jovi

Image for article titled A field guide to celebrity alcohols: Like regular booze, but famous
Photo: Karl Gustafson

Hampton Water, by Jon Bon Jovi: A wine from the French Mediterranean region, made from Grenache, Cinsault, and Mourvèdre grapes. Recently made news by earning a spot on Wine Spectator’s annual top 100 list—and it was the highest-ranked rosé (at #83). Dry with a mineral taste. Pale pink, pretty bottle, silly name.

Miraval Rosé, by Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie: Yes, they still own Miraval together. Per W Magazine: One asset they will not be dividing up is their wine estate, Miraval, which houses the chateau where the couple exchanged vows on August 23, 2014… The parents of six are going to continue to use Miraval “as an investment for their children.” A rosé from Côtes De Provence, made from Cinsault, Grenache, Syrah, and Rolle grapes. Fresh fruit and floral notes, insanely well-balanced, a beautiful light pink color in another gorgeous bottle.

The winner: Apologies to Jersey’s beloved son, but the verdict was unanimous. Every Takeout, A.V. Club, and Onion staffer who tried these wines preferred Brad and Angelina’s “divorcé wine” (thanks for that, Erik Adams of The A.V. Club). That said, Hampton Water isn’t a dreadful bottle, by any means. I can see how it would be very refreshing on a hot, hot day in the rich, rich Hamptons. But for drinking at home—or, you know, at the place you exchanged vows with your ex in 2014—Miraval takes the cake.

Price: Hampton Water is usually listed at around $20, while Miraval is typically closer to $23. The latter is a steal.

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