Look, I’m not here to make light of tragedy. The insipid true crime mega-machine has proven that gawking at others’ means of demise is tacky at best, systemically harmful at worst. But there’s a difference between hee-hawing at someone’s unusual end and poking holes in centuries-old apocrypha. Today, I’m doing the latter, examining some of history’s most laughable food-related deaths.
We’ve got aristocrats choking on flies. We’ve got extreme carrot overconsumption. We’ve got frozen chickens. True or not, these questionable accounts prove one thing: Humans have always played with their food—sometimes to deadly consequences.