Waiters See One Drink Ordering Quirk As A Major Red Flag

When you go out to drink or dine, you may find yourself stepping into an etiquette minefield. Bartenders, in particular, seem to be a touchy breed – they hate it when you do stuff like request an extra-strong drink and or ask "What's good?" They might also judge you on your drink order since apparently, mojitos and espresso martinis are no longer cool. According to Los Angeles-based restaurant consultant at Savory Hospitality, Salar Sheik, one of the rudest things you can do at a restaurant is to ask the server for your desired drink without making conversation first.

If you skip the polite chitchat and get straight to business, you may have your reasons. Perhaps you're in a hurry (it's hard to fit a three-martini lunch into half an hour) or maybe you're super introverted. I sympathize with anyone in the latter category since I'm the poster adult for social awkwardness — which did nothing to advance my long-aborted career as a bartender. 

Even so, looking at it from the server's perspective, Sheik warns that skipping the niceties "comes off as dismissive." He elaborated, "When a server greets you with a friendly 'Hello, how are you?' it's a small but important gesture of hospitality. Ignoring that and jumping straight into your order can suggest you're not interested in engaging respectfully — it's like cutting someone off mid-sentence." Besides assuming that you're impolite, Sheik cautioned that a server could also categorize you as impatient or high-maintenance, as ordering right away "sets a transactional tone rather than a hospitable one," (although it could be argued that being presented with the bill has a similar effect).

Yikes, so what's a socially awkward person to do? Stay home and drink instead? That's pretty much my modus operandi (for one thing, it's a lot cheaper), but Salar Sheik has another suggestion. "Generally, it's best to follow the server's lead — they're trained to pace your experience for maximum comfort and efficiency." If you do as they request, he said, this will help both the kitchen and bar stay in their groove so they can keep churning out food and drink orders as expected.

What if you want food and a drink at the same time, though? Do you need to wait until the server specifically asks if you'd like to order something to eat? Sheik says no, with the caveat, "Just let them know with consideration." He suggests using the phrase, "We're actually ready to order everything if that works for you?" calling it both courteous and respectful. In his opinion, "It shows you're acknowledging their process while expressing your needs."

If you don't quite manage the social niceties, however, there is one thing you can do to salvage the situation: Leave a generous tip. Yes, we all want politeness and respect, but money is what pays the bills, so it may be able to purchase a fair amount of forgiveness.