Last Call: Let's get horned up over Mario Lopez as Sexy Colonel Sanders

Screenshot of Mario Lopez in A Recipe for Seduction
He’s got a secret recipe for a little something that rhymes with “Chex”
Screenshot: Lifetime

Ah, cinema! An art form with the power to delight, unite, and plunge the Twittersphere into a murky realm of sexy chicken jokes. The latter occurred earlier today when Kentucky Fried Chicken and Lifetime announced the upcoming holiday Lifetime Original Mini-Movie, A Recipe for Seduction. The 15-minute cinematic feat stars Mario Lopez as a libidinous Colonel Harland Sanders, a poultry-loving hunk with a secret chicken recipe that’ll change the world.

According to a press release, A Recipe for Seduction spotlights a “steamy holiday love affair” that begins when a young heiress is forced to choose between a slimy suitor and a trailblazing young chef. The latter is none other than famously dishy Mario Lopez, who sports a crooked mustache and a burly chest that smells like a Tyson plant. If you ask me, the heiress’s choice is a total no-brainer. Go with the chicken man, you fool!

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The mini-movie is apparently chock full of “suspense, deception, ‘fowl’ play and—at the heart of it all—love and fried chicken.” If you watch the trailer linked above, you’ll see that Recipe for Seduction also features some kind of weird sexual sub-plot between the heiresses’s preppy suitor and her mom, which is gross and fun. Finally, as you can see in the trailer, the movie includes the line “Secret’s out, chicken man,” which is better and more sinister than anything I’ll ever write.

A Recipe For Seduction premieres on Lifetime this Sunday, December 13 at 12 p.m. EST. If you miss the star-studded premiere, you can catch the mini-movie throughout the holiday season on Lifetime. Are you intrigued? Tantalized? Appropriately horned up just in time for the least sexy holiday season of all time? Discuss in the comments, please.

Staff writer @ The Takeout, joke writer elsewhere. Wrangling dogs and pork shoulder in Chicago.

DISCUSSION

The way the villain wears a sweater over his shoulders is ridiculous. Nobody ties the tips of the sleeves together like that.