Kraft has just released the results of a survey it evidently conducted to determine how many parents have completely given up. Out of 1,000 parents surveyed, 56% allow their kids to eat mac and cheese for breakfast, which is 44% fewer than I was expecting. I didn’t even know we weren’t supposed to eat mac and cheese for breakfast. I know that Canadians call it “Kraft Dinner,” but that’s their problem. Here in the United States we have a little thing called freedom, namely the freedom to let our kids eat cold mac and cheese for breakfast because we have better things to do at seven o’clock in the morning than let a child drive us to tears over eggs. We’re living in an age where people are literally eating bowls of chocolate chip cookies for breakfast. Feeding your kids Kraft way before noon is low on the list of parental infractions.
Sadly, the results of this survey also mean that there are hundreds of millions of Americans who are not eating mac and cheese for breakfast, and the reason is likely because on its iconic blue box, Kraft labels the contents as “dinner.” But unprecedented times call for unprecedented measures, and so Kraft has printed up some boxes that say “breakfast” instead of “dinner.” These won’t be available in stores until sometime next year, so if you can’t wait that long to be liberated, you can enter a sweepstakes to win a limited-edition Kraft Mac & Cheese “Breakfast Box,” which includes a placemat for kids to color while the macaroni is being prepared, a magnet with breakfast topping suggestions (like crumbled sausage, bacon, or scrambled eggs), a mug for serving, and the specially printed box that gives you permission to crack it open before noon. To enter you can use this link. Godspeed.