Friends, it is here: the LA Times’ food power rankings have finally reached Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. Appropriately, the x-axis of the matrix is taste, while the y-axis is “stoneder.” No extra points for you for correctly guessing the location of Phish Food.
In addition to the matrix, critic Lucas Kwan Peterson provides a detailed analysis of 20 different flavors and ranks them from best to worst.
The news is terrible today (as it is every day). Use this as your excuse to forget about it for 10 minutes and think about ice cream. Appreciate Peterson’s 1998 Chicago Bulls analogy. Nod in sage agreement over his analysis about the decline of Coffee Toffee Crunch. Fly into a rage that Chunky Monkey and Cherry Garcia don’t rate higher. Maybe eat some ice cream if you’ve got it. And then thank Mr. Peterson for this brief reminder that some parts of life are still pretty decent.