Bartenders Hate It When You Do These 12 Things

As much as we'd all like to think of ourselves as unique, human nature dictates that we're actually just as annoying as everyone else. I was a bartender and server for around eight years in places like biker bars, nationally accredited country clubs, 24 hour diners, and luxury hotels. Despite these places being different in almost every way, the people, at one time or another, were more or less the same. Everyone comes in hungry, thirsty, and, at some point in their bar-going life, does something to irritate the bartender.

From getting a little too boisterous or touchy to making an unknowingly annoying request, there are a lot of big and little things people do that get under a bartender's skin. Most people grow out of their bad bar etiquette, but those who don't typically don't even know they're being a bad bar guest. If you're wondering whether you have ever had the ire of the person fixing your drinks directed at you, check out these things that bartenders hate. Pro tip: Not doing the things on this list is a great way to get in your bartender's good graces.

Everyone who has ever worked as a server or bartender just gave a collective eye roll at that headline. There are a number of things you should never say when ordering a drink at a bar, and requesting that your drink be "strong" is at the top of the list for a lot of bartenders. It's not only a red flag for someone who is likely not going to tip well, but a sign that unwarranted complaints about their drink are imminent.

Asking for an extra strong bar drink is pointless, to be honest, unless you plan on paying extra. For one thing, a bartender isn't just going to over pour for some stranger who feels entitled to it. Most importantly, though, drinks have a set amount of alcohol in them and a certain way they are inputted into the point of sale system. Nowadays, quite a lot of establishments have an inventory system in place and if the stock doesn't match up, the bartender could be in hot water.

If you need a stiff drink, order one! Just, please, don't expect to not pay for it. We'll hook you up with a double, it's going to come with an upcharge on your bill, though. Don't make this awkward, just ask for a double. Build a rapport with your bartender, and they'll decide if they want to be a bit heavy-handed with your drink.

I'm sorry, but TV has sorely deceived you if you think bar fights and public drunkenness actually belong in bars. You've watched "Coyote Ugly" one too many times if you expect your bartender to break up an argument by offering to buy a beer for both parties. Disappointing, I know. Instead, your bartender is going to get annoyed, or even scared, and either kick you out, cut you off, or even call the police.

Getting mean or overly loud in the bar is not a cute look. Actually, it can be quite worrisome to a bartender, especially if they are working alone. Being the only sober one in a bar, which regularly happens to the bartender, makes them innately aware of how reckless a rowdy situation could get.

There is a time and place for rowdiness. Karaoke night, game night at a sports bar, or during a private event are all perfectly reasonable times to get a little loud. Open drunkenness, however, is overwhelmingly frowned upon in most establishments. The bar and bartender could be held liable for any serious drunken shenanigans, so please behave and let the bartender sling drinks in the bar's natural state.

You'd be surprised how many open checks remain at the end of a busy night. A good bartender can keep track of everyone's orders and what has been charged. With sometimes hundreds of customers a night, though, it can be hard to keep track of every single drink and check. It's easier than you may realize to walk out without paying your bill, especially if you've been drinking.

Walking out on your check is not only stealing and illegal, but could land your server or bartender with the bill. Though not legal, a shocking amount of bars make employees cover walk outs. Even if they don't take it out of the bartender's pocket, an unpaid tab can count against the person who rang the food or drinks in. This means that in addition to not receiving a tip for catering to your needs, they have money taken from them to cover your tab. Don't steal and don't endanger anyone's livelihood — pay your bill!

While not a crime, neglecting to tip is one big way to ensure your bartender doesn't think much of you. This is especially true if they've just spent an hour listening to all your woes or boasting to the bar about how well your business ventures are going. Respect your bartender's time by compensating them for their service, or risk defaulting to being on the receiving end of their stink eye anytime you come back to their bar.

This one doesn't seem like a big deal, but making your bartender responsible for your phone is really not OK. They're in the service industry, so a lot of times they'll do this with a smile, but internally your bartender has now added like three things to their mental checklist. First, they have to make sure you don't leave your phone behind when you leave. Once your phone is behind the bar, they have to work around it and make sure it stays safe. They have to worry about knocking it off of whatever surface they've put it on and keeping it dry from the many wet goings-on behind the bar. Then, they'll likely have to deal with you asking to check it off and on throughout service.

In addition to leaving your phone behind the bar to be on a charger, this same logic goes for asking your bartender for a charger or for them to plug in a charger brought from your own home. Please, stop leaving the fate of your phone battery up to your bartender. We all know how important it is to have access to your phone during a night out, either to order a ride home or to connect with your friends. Charge your phone before you come out for the night.

Everyone makes mistakes, but a good bartender typically knows when a drink is made improperly. There could be a few reasons for a poorly done drink, whether it's due to not having the proper ingredients or not knowing how to make a specially requested one. Sometimes even when a bartender knows a drink might not be just right, they'll hope for the best. If a complaint comes, they'll happily remake the drink or suggest something else. Other times they'll let the customer know that the drink may not be up to standard, and if something else is wanted then they can make another drink.

However, if a complaint comes outside of these situations, it's usually pretty unwarranted. Drinks are a bartender's craft, and they know what a drink is supposed to look like. A taste test is usually done when a drink is sent back for something we've made confidently, and typically they taste like they're supposed to. There are a few major complaints bartenders receive, and most of them aren't valid.

Please, stop saying you can't taste the alcohol in your drink. I promise, the standard amount of alcohol is in there and you're not going to get more by complaining. If you simply don't like a bar drink that was made well, that's not really your bartender's issue either. Order something different next time. We can't really comp your alcoholic drink just because you don't care for it, and providing free alcohol (taking it off your bill counts) is actually illegal in some places.

Don't get me wrong, I love it when bar patrons get along. It typically makes the job a lot easier when guests are entertaining themselves rather than expecting heavy conversation from the bartender. However, there is a very clear line between cuddling up at the bar and full-on PDA. Whether you're with the person you came with or have fallen in love over a pint with someone you met at the bar, keep it relatively PG.

Your bartender can't really leave the bar, and they shouldn't be held hostage, forced to watch a spit exchange. It's also mortifying to interrupt a heated moment between two hopeful lovers when your bartender inevitably needs to talk to you about part of your service. Most other patrons don't want front seats to your budding romance, either. Don't be the couple making out at the bar, and don't make your bartender suggest hands need to be kept above bar level at all times. It's embarrassing for everyone involved, and even if you're not, you should be embarrassed too.

There are a lot of things that get on your bartender's nerves, but most are forgivable. Rudeness is not. Bartenders are like ravens, we always remember the faces of people who have wronged us. If you snap, whistle, or yell at us when you want service, your face will be forever imprinted in our minds as someone who mistreats service workers.

Snapping or whistling makes it clear you think we are at your beck and call, kind of like a dog. It's just not nice to treat another human like that, especially one who is making and bringing you nice things like cocktails and beers. Rudeness happens relatively often to bartenders and servers, but snapping and whistling is semi-rare. It's like even people who speak rudely know that snapping at people crosses a line.

It hasn't happened often, but I have even had customers call to me from across the bar or restaurant, "Bartender!" or "Waitress!" This is even worse than the whistling and somehow more dehumanizing. Unless the building is on fire, just wait your turn rather than treating another person with this lack of respect.

One of the fastest ways to get cut off or, at the very least, told off by your bartender is reaching over your portion of the bar. Pretend that there is an invisible force field where the bar ends and the well (or bartender's prep area) starts. It may be invisible, but it's very real for the bartender and it's commonly implied that this is not a space for anyone who is not welcomed by the bartender. Even other service staff are typically not allowed here. It's kind of like a second home to the bartenders who work it, they have their own special way of setting it up and are territorial over their space.

If you reach over to grab from the fruit or garnish stock, to get an extra glass, or to pour your own drink, prepare for the worst. Even a bartender with the best service mask will break, and the look you'll receive could chill the devil himself.

Even if it isn't one of the greatest breeches of respect and space, it's not sanitary for you to reach into the bar's well. Bartenders, believe it or not, are specifically trained and certified for food and beverage safety. Have some decency for the rest of the bar guests and keep your hands out of things they'll likely be receiving in a drink at some point.

Whistling or snapping at your bartender is bad, touching them is a whole other level of off limits. Bartenders are used to harassment and can typically shrug off a lot or mitigate any unwanted advances with a smile. Physical contact is a line to not cross, though, and it can come with some serious consequences.

If making your bartender uncomfortable wasn't enough of a consequence, getting kicked out of the bar might be. Depending on the touch, this is a very possible outcome. If, on the other hand, the touch was a simple tap on the shoulder, you likely won't get cut off or thrown out. This simple touch is still never OK, though, and will likely get you thrown a look or even a reprimand by the bartender.

Luckily, service workers usually have each other's backs, especially when it comes to unwanted actions by customers. It may not be the bartender who says something to you about a touch, but another worker. If you don't want the embarrassment of having to be talked to about your behavior, keep your hands to yourself and respect the personal space of your bartender.

One of the most frustrating things you can do is flag your bartender just to keep looking over the menu. Industry workers, no matter which part of the restaurant they work in, have a list of about a dozen things floating around in their head. When you flag them down for something, it's like a big gust attempting to scatter the list items to the wind. We'll jump into action when you wave or raise your hand, but if it's a premature flag, it really throws off our groove.

This is especially true if you call us over while we are with another guest. Yes, bartenders can get stuck in a conversation with a guest, but we almost always know what is going on with the rest of the bar. We have not forgotten about you or anyone else there, so interrupting an interaction with another guest is unnecessary and rude. This is even more frustrating when we come over to you, just for you to hem and haw over the menu some more.

By all means, take as much time as you need with the menu or deciding on a drink. However, please do this without us standing there twiddling our thumbs. In the time it takes you to finally decide, we likely could have taken another guest's order or printed a couple of checks.

It's OK to make specifications to your drink if you prefer it a certain way, but micromanaging the making of a drink is a bit much. Bartending is a craft, and those behind the bar are professionals at it. It's offensive to the bartender for a customer to argue with them over how to make a drink, especially if that drink is a well known cocktail that they are trained on. Usually, the untrained customer is wrong.

No amount of arguing is going to change the fact that a long island iced tea doesn't actually have tea in it. I can't begin to guess how many times a customer claimed a classic martini was made with vodka. In most cases, your bartender is not going to argue with you, but just make you whatever wrong drink you are requesting. If you always order a dry martini and never think it is dry, it's probably because you don't actually know what dry means.

Also, the classic cocktails have been transformed so many times over the years that bartenders don't always make them 100% the traditional way. An old-fashioned is one example of this, and if your bartender used simple syrup instead of a sugar cube, just let it go. If you're a stickler for this, choose a bar that is a speakeasy style or is more traditional. Or, if you are particular about your drink, say so before your bartender makes said drink.

One of the best kinds of bar guests is one who knows exactly what they want. It's OK if you want to try something new, but please don't be vague about what you want. Either order something off the menu, order a vintage cocktail everyone should try at least once, or something that is already a thing. Don't expect your bartender to just "whip something up" for you, or to recreate the mixology wheel for you on a whim. While bartenders do love to experiment and will sometimes offer to do this, this isn't something that fits into a random moment of service. It takes time that they sometimes do not have. There's a right way to ask bartenders to surprise you, but be careful as using those exact words are one of the worst things you can say to your bartender.

Also, asking for a glass of wine or a beer isn't an actual order, and it barely narrows down your options, really. Don't make your bartender ask five follow-up questions just to get a drink order from you. It's OK to ask questions, but when you order make sure it is clear exactly what you want. Bartenders want you to be happy with your drink, but they won't know what you want if you yourself don't know.