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Love eating babies? Try Taco Bell

Illustration for article titled Love eating babies? Try Taco Bell
Photo: goce (iStock)

It’s Monday and we’re talking about literally eating children, and yet I know this won’t be the craziest headline I’ll have to write this week. This is where we are.

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So, yeah, a Trump supporter went to a town hall meeting hosted by Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez last weekand went all Modest Proposal on the topic of climate change. Donald Trump, Kendall Roy Donald Trump Jr., and the usual crew of far-right conservatives used the outburst to paint AOC as—and this is in the exact words of the President—“a wack job,” and to imply that climate change is a politically motivated hoax, because they know their base will never follow up on their tweets to see if it’s backed up by actual facts. Hell, this story broke on Friday, which means that in 2019 time it may as well have happened six years ago. Everyone has already forgotten about the story by the time facts get introduced. Thank God Taco Bell somehow got roped into this debacle so we have a reason to keep talking about it.

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Trump’s minions all but assured Friday would unofficially become #EatTheBabies Day on Twitter, carelessly forgetting that it was, in fact, a real holiday: National Taco Day. Taco Bell spends all year prepping for this, and plans a massive PR campaign around it. If there is one single day of the year where Taco Bell hopes that the national conversation doesn’t steer itself towards eating babies, October 4th is it. But, again, it’s 2019, so there’s really no excuse for their PR department to not have been prepared for this.

While Taco Bell was not officially sponsoring the #EatTheBabies or #EatTheChildren hashtags, they had put in a pretty serious ad buy for Twitter to promote their National Taco Day gift set. So, when #EatTheBabies shot up to the top of the day’s trending topics, every person on Twitter decided to check out what in the actual hell was going on (nothing is surprising anymore), and, well:

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Again, it’s only Monday, so chin up, Taco Bell. It’s only a matter of time before we’re hit with a new exciting headline that will make eating babies seem quaint.

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Allison Robicelli is The Takeout staff writer, a former professional chef, author of three books, and The People's Hot Pocket Princess. Questions about recipes/need cooking advice? Tweet @Robicellis.

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DISCUSSION

And I can’t even get my cannibalism on my license plate these days!