The Price For Free Chick-Fil-A Today Is Your Dignity

In college, a mentor sat me down for a chat. She told me if I wanted to make it as a theater director (those were the days), I only needed to know two things. First, I had to work harder than anyone else. And second, and more importantly, she said, "Never turn down free food." I took that advice to heart. I love free food. But there is a line I will not cross, and it is this: I won't wear a fucking cow costume for a five dollar sandwich.

But hey, no judgment! If you're up for that, today's your lucky day. Today, July 10, marks Chick-Fil-A's 14th annual Cow Appreciation Day, a magical day in which adorable children and grown-ass adult humans show up at the chicken chain dressed lik cattle in hopes of scoring a free entrée. The promotion ends at 7 p.m., and you can't place orders on the Chick-Fil-A, so you might want to get in line now.

Of course, the most pressing question is this: What, exactly, constitutes a cow costume? As it happens, the chain seems to be pretty lenient on that point. Per their Cow Appreciation Day FAQ, "Anyone who visits our restaurant wearing any sort of cow apparel will receive a free entrée!" That means that yes, you can probably get away with wearing a pin with a cow print, or a shirt that just says "COW" on it, or maybe even a giraffe print if you're feeling resourceful and hit a natural 20 on your charisma roll this morning.

Most, but not all, entrées are included in the promotion, including the Chicken or Sausage Hash Brown Scramble Burrito, the Chick-n-Strips, and of course, chicken sandwiches. Kids in spots/with hooves/squirting milk from udders can get a Kid's Meal.

Anyway, here's a video of some cute children and dogs. Have fun in line, you shameless hordes, and may your free chicken taste so good that you forget you had to pretend to be the butt half of a cow to get it.