Let Us Buzzkill The Trader Joe "Eleanor Rigby" Conspiracy Theory

By  Gwen Ihnat

This is dumb but fun: As reported in Munchies, designer Daniel Spenser was humming "Eleanor Rigby" around offbeat grocery chain Trader Joe's one day, and realized that several of the store's signature products have a rhythmic meter that seemed familiar. In fact, the five-syllable beat of the "Eleanor Rigby" song title can be found in Trader Joe products across the board, like:

Spenser first posted this find in October, then picked it up again a few days ago:

Granted, this is hilarious, but we have to get all Neil DeGrasse Tyson on this guy: There are still many, many TJ products that sadly don't bring to mind keeping a face in a jar by the door. Sorry to be buzzkills, but Pumpkin Spice Caramel Corn and Mandarin Orange Chicken can't be shoehorned into the song.

For example, this box of dark chocolate peanut butter cups would not last a whole day in our lives:

Although Speculoos is apparently a kind of biscuit, we'd still throw this in the "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da" category.

Peppermint cremes, forever.

We all live in a quinoa universe...

Egg nog, don't make it bad...

Umm, maybe you can sing "Jingle Jangle" to "Helter Skelter."

Still, Spenser's discovery should make our next (weekly, if we're being honest) trip to TJ's more enjoyable, as we try to pick out more boxes and bags that fit into this specific meter. Then, knowing us, we'll probably try to flesh out the song into more Trader Joe-focused lyrics: "All the quinoa products / Where do they all come from?"

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