Review: Aldi's Halloween Cheese Assortment Has One Truly Scary Option

With the scariest day of the year approaching, what's even scarier is the thought of throwing together spooky-themed foods for a party of hungry ghouls. Thankfully, Aldi's seasonal offerings are in full swing, and an assortment of Halloween cheeses can adorn your next spooky charcuterie. The Freaky Franken Sage Derby cheese, the Scary Pumpkin Spice cheese, and the Bat Knit Crazy Cheddar, each bring their own seasonal flair.

Many of the Halloween-themed charcuterie boards on TikTok focus on presentation, with cheese in the shape of pumpkins and meats cut to look like a creepy undead hand. However, it looks like Aldi's arrangement of cheese is aiming for flavor over visual appeal. The only problem is that not every Halloween snack is a scary good treat. Some are just as hard to swallow as an overly gory slasher movie. Here's what to carve for your Halloween party and what can stay in the refrigerated section.

The Freaky Franken Sage Derby cheese appears moldy, but we promise it's just the sage. The small block of mild Derby cheese contains dried sage and is 120 calories per one-inch cube. Aside from the cute packaging, there's not much else about the cheese that would tell you it's meant for a Halloween celebration.

The Scary Pumpkin Spice cheese comes wrapped in bright orange wax in the shape of ... take a wild guess. Yes, the cheese is in the shape of a pumpkin. The "scary" cheese is spiced with cinnamon, nutmeg, and ginger and is 110 calories per one-inch cube. The wax wrapping is thick like the rind of a real pumpkin, so keep that in mind when carving it up.

The Bat Knit Crazy cheddar is surprisingly not-so crazy when it comes to how it looks. The cheese is wrapped in a black wax and has a cute image of a bat on it. The aged cheddar is 120 calories per one-inch cube. Once again, the wax is a little thick, so you may need to come at it with a killer villain knife.

Aldi's Halloween cheeses are themed for the spooky season, so you can bet they won't be available after October 31st (and might even get snapped up before then, if they prove to be particularly popular. You'd better rush to Aldi if you want to snag them for your Halloween-themed cheese board.

They each retail for $4.29, though depending on which one you snag, you're paying a different price per ounce. The Freaky Franken Sage Derby is the best deal of the bunch, as you get 7 ounces of cheese for that $4.29. The Wensleydale is 6 ounces, while the Bat Knit Crazy Cheddar gives you the worst value at just 5.29 ounces. However, in the grand scheme of things, they're all pretty affordable, so you should pick based on your taste preferences.

Pumpkin shapes and hard wax shells might be enough to make these cheese options spooky-looking, but it's their flavors that scare me the most. Because of its moldy-colored green exterior, I was most hesitant to try the Freaky Franken Sage Derby. Turns out the sage Derby is actually not the worst of the bunch. In fact, sage Derby is a traditional British cheese with a fairly mild taste. The greenish cheese has a light herb flavor and is considered a hard cheese.

The not-so-crazy Bat Knit cheese is the most basic and second-tastiest cheese of Aldi's Halloween trio. The aged cheddar would taste just fine on a simple cracker and is overall nothing to be scared of. Unfortunately, this is where the pleasantness ends.

The pumpkin spiced cheese is grainy and, though it smells heavily of cinnamon, it's not the kind of sweet cheese you'd want on a morning bagel. This pumpkin-shaped creation is a Wensleydale cheese, which is known for being crumbly and creamy. However, this particular pumpkin is gritty without any creamy texture at all; it was difficult to cut and fell apart at the first slice. Sorry to break it to all the PSL fanatics, but not everything needs to be Pumpkin Spice flavored. Truthfully, pumpkin spice flavoring belongs in coffee and some baked goods. Outside of that, keep the warm spices away from your cheese boards.