Review: Aldi's Holiday Wines Are Too Creamy And Too Early

It may be October but the spookiest thing at most stores is how, as soon as the first leaf changes color, the holiday items start rolling out. Case in point — Aldi has already started stocking its shelves with winter season products such as Eggnog Wine and Peppermint Bark Wine.

Eggnog is typically a holiday cocktail consisting of cream or milk, egg yolks, and some type of spirit like brandy, whiskey, or rum. A creamy cocktail isn't usually part of my family's holiday celebrations, but maybe Aldi's wine variation will convert me before we reach Thanksgiving. However, if the eggnog is still too thick for my liking, there's always the peppermint bark wine. The nog variety is still a creamy dessert wine, but I imagine the peppermint flavor might help cut through the heaviness.

Despite the fact that both wines are a cream-based alcoholic beverage, they have different suggested serving temperatures and aren't refrigerated at Aldi. So, let's see what a chilled glass of peppermint and room temperature eggnog wine have to offer.

Let me start with a well-deserved ick. The first pour came out in yolk-filled chunks; I'm talking partially cooked scrambled eggs in a wine glass. We were not off to a good start, but in the spirit of early Christmas I poured out the first glass and tried again. Keep in mind, though, nowhere on the Aldi Eggnog Wine bottle does it say to shake before pouring. In fact, the bottle says the nog can be enjoyed at room temperature or heated and that it contains a blend of white wine, egg yolks, cream, cinnamon, nutmeg, vanilla, and clove. 

Those holiday-themed spices waft from the bottle immediately, but that initial image of partial yolks is hard to get past. Two or three sips is all I could get myself to stomach. Perhaps this was a simple manufacturing error, but it's hard to imagine any redemption for my views on eggnog. I'm a big fan of cinnamon and vanilla flavors in my dessert but not as much in my glass of wine.

In search of a glimmer of hope for the holiday season, we now turn to the Peppermint Bark wine, which also hails from the Netherlands. While I can't say I was thrilled at the prospect of another creamy sip, I can say visually I was more optimistic about this bottle.

The Peppermint Bark wine reminded me of chocolate milk as I poured it into a glass, and what adult doesn't want a little nostalgia with their wine? Though I thought it would be the peppermint flavor I would enjoy the most, it actually turned out to be the hint of chocolate at the end that made me feel better about Aldi's holiday vibes. Do I plan to pour myself another glass after this experiment? Probably not, but I could also imagine pouring some of the wine over a few scoops of vanilla ice cream for a boozy holiday-themed sundae.

Truthfully, any creamy alcohol is usually a hard pass for me, so these two bottles had their work cut out for them from the jump. Unfortunately, neither one jazzed me enough to put me in the holiday spirit months before the season. No disrespect to any culture, but the Netherlands can keep these holiday drinks. I may need to stick to my own roots and opt for a coquito as my venture into creamy cocktails.