Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. You think I wanted to be spitting-cat mad today? You think I wanted to be fuming about the grotesqueries of our society while defiantly wearing sweatpants and thinking about making avocado toast I definitely won’t actually make because that would involve going to the store and also then I’ll never own a home? Yet here we are. Thanks, Old Homestead steakhouse and Yahoo! Finance reporter Zack Guzman. Thanks a lot.
I can’t find a way to embed the Yahoo! video, probably for complicated rich money corporation reasons, so if you want to see the most expensive Thanksgiving dinner in history, you’ll have to click through. But if rage has seeped through your fingers into your computer/phone and paralyzed both you and your browser, then read on.
Old Homestead, a steakhouse in New York City, last year sold four $76,000 dinners, but the poors who ate that bargain meal may be forced to dream of this year’s edition. The 150-year-old steakhouse’s $150,000 feast, which can feed up to 12 assholes, includes a “$135-per-pound free-range, organic turkey sprinkled with gold flakes” which is stuffed with the keys to a 2018 Maserati Levante.
The menu includes items both edible (like turkey) and not (like a fancy-ass car). The bullshit you can eat includes:
- Stuffing made from $75 sourdough from the United Kingdom
- Imported Japanese pork priced ($425 per pound) which is mixed with white truffles ($2,500 per pound)
- $100-a-pop King oysters with Opus One mignonette
- Buttermilk biscuits made with $600/oz. Himalayan sea salt and topped with a pancetta jam seasoned with the tears of a 102-year-old monk
- Salad topped with $550/lb. Wagyu beef
- Cozy comfort food staples, like mashed potatoes with $325/lb. white cheddar, and butternut squash topped with $1,600/oz. black caviar
- Gravy spiked with “a healthy splash from a $3,300 bottle of special reserve Pappy Van Winkle bourbon”
- For dessert, a “mixed berries and a sabayon cream sauce infused with 1968 Crystal champagne”
I only made one of those up, and it’s pretty obvious which one it is, but not as obvious as it should be. As for the stuff that’s not edible:
- That Maserati
- A “$15,000 Black Friday shopping spree at iconic Manhattan retailer”
- Tickets to see Billy Joel at Madison Square Garden
- A stay at the Poconos Cove Haven Resort
But lest you think this is all a cheap expensive publicity stunt, or a stomach-churning testament to ostentatious opulence, Old Homestead would like to assure you that nothing could be further from the truth. As co-owner Marc Sherry put it to Yahoo!:
“We do it for the creativity,” he said. “We do it for the actual priceless faces we see on the people when they get this package.”...
“It’s all about having fun and having the greatest Thanksgiving experience of your life,” he said. “This year it just might take a lifetime to pay it off.”
So far, they’ve sold only one of these meals. If you’d like to be the second person, be aware that they only take cash or a certified check.