Napkin Etiquette 101: What To Do With Your Napkin At Your Next Fancy Dinner

Formal dining can be an exciting experience when you're well prepared for it. While not everyone has binged "Bridgerton" or watched "Pride and Prejudice" on repeat to learn every morsel of fancy dining etiquette as possible, most people do know the basics. Paying attention to the small details can help you feel more confident and make a good impression on your host, whether that's Mr. Darcy himself or your neighbor from down the block. Dressing up nicely and bringing your host a small gift are just a few tips for a fine dining evening, but did you know that napkin etiquette is just as important?

Though it may seem insignificant in the grand scheme of things, napkin etiquette plays a crucial role in a formal meal. These rules don't apply to the small, square napkins that sometimes accompany fresh cocktails from the bar, but to the cloth napkins you're accustomed to seeing in more formal settings. Everything from when to pick up your napkin, to how to use it, to where to place it when you're done, each action is a conscious decision that can be learned. With a few simple guidelines in your toolkit, you'll be on your way to mastering an evening of fancy dining in no time.

When sitting down at a formal meal, you should find your napkin either on the left-hand side or directly in the center of the empty plate. If dining at a restaurant where there is no formal host or hostess, place the napkin on your lap immediately after sitting down. If there is a host, etiquette suggests that you wait for your host to place their napkin on their lap before you do. When unfolding the napkin, put it elegantly and subtly on your lap, never shake it. When leaving the table for a restroom break, place the napkin on your chair to signal that you're not done. At the end of the meal, wait for your host to signal they're done with the meal by placing their napkin on the left-hand side of the plate, then do the same with yours.

Now that we've covered the do's, it's equally important to remember the don'ts. Don't tuck the napkin into your shirt, use it to spit out unwanted food, or wipe any part of your face. Don't use it to polish silverware, brush away crumbs, or place it on your dirty plate once the meal is finished. If you spill something on it or drop the napkin, ask the server for a new one. When using the restroom, ensure that the dirty side of the napkin faces up, never touching the chair. Following these simple napkin rules will leave you rivaling the fancy dining etiquette of royals and aristocrats alike.