Elisabeth Moss, Yvonne Strahovski
Photo: George Kraychyk (Hulu)

Remember when someone, somewhere, for some godforsaken reason, decided it was a good idea to make The Handmaid’s Tale-branded wines? I know days feel like weeks now, and weeks feel like years, so in case you’ve already forgotten, that was yesterday. We were mad about it. Lots of people were mad about it. It was deeply stupid. Well, now it’s cancelled. Not in the internet way, where someone says “Jared Leto is cancelled” or “Scarlett Johansson is cancelled” or something like that. It’s actually an idea that has ceased to be.

By 8:30 p.m. yesterday, MGM and Lot18, the site selling the super fun bottles inspired by fictional rape victims who suffer violent oppression at the hands of a patriarchal totalitarian regime, had decided to cancel the line. No shit, assholes.

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You can read my thoughts, which amount to basically “oh absolutely fucking not,” here. I am also, however, very partial to Inkoo Kang’s take for Slate, in which she proposes some other branding possibilities: 

Offred’s Muzzle. People are always talking about the power of silence, so why not take back some of that empowerment for womankind with this vegan leather scream-stopper? (It’s cruelty-free!) Perfect for a meditation retreat or giving your male partner the silent treatment. Take that, patriarchy!

Even more succinctly:

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Did they consult no one? Had none of these people read this book in high school? Didn’t they watch at least five minutes of the show? Because it would only take about five minutes to realize that this idea is insanely tone-deaf. Cancelling the Handmaid’s wine line was the right move, but an even better move would have been not fucking doing it in the first place, you total fucking ass-hats.