Mar 12
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As I fester here in late-stage quarantine, Bachelor Mondays are my ding dang raison d’être. Once a week, I spend two…
Mar 9
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Someone needs to put this Bachelor season out of its misery. No one’s heart is in it. Between this…
Feb 23
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The Bachelor should be a fun, dumb thing. It should just be a weekly goofy thing on that’s on TV, something you…
Feb 16
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Greetings, dearest readers. Thank you for joining me. If you’ve a) been following the news surrounding this season…
Feb 9
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There’s this card game called Marrying Mr. Darcy. (Yes, I own it; I am also very bad at it.) There are many paths to…
Jan 12
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It’s pretty weird to be writing a column this patently absurd on this day, in this week, in this month, in this…
Jan 5
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Hi, folks! It’s been a while. (It has not been anything resembling a while.) If the hiatus betwixt the end of…
Dec 23
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The Bachelor franchise loves the word “most.” Also: shocking, history. Every season, we’re told that such-and-such…
Dec 22
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Chris Harrison is a messy bitch who lives for drama. He didn’t even make it through the introduction to this, the…
Dec 16
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Tayshia Adams came here to eat food and break hearts, and she’s all out of food. (Actually, she’s not, there’s kind…
Dec 9
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[Note: This recap includes a general discussion of suicide.]
Dec 2
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Let’s dispense with this right away.
Nov 25
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I made this point last week, and I stand by it this week: Tayshia is a god-tier Bachelorette. In the seventh week of…
Nov 18
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Ahhhhh, that’s the stuff. That’s The Bachelorette of yore. The sturm und drang of Clare’s mini-season was wild, but…
Nov 11
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The nation—nay, the world—has breathed a collective sigh of relief. Could it be that the worst is behind us? Is that…
Nov 6
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This week’s episode of The Bachelorette will never die. It is a time capsule. It, like Late-Night Steve Kornacki…
Oct 28
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Oct 21
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Forgive me, a loathsome millennial, for starting this story in such a fashion, but the situation demands it: this…
Oct 14
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Welcome back, Bachelor Nation. Welcome back, Chris Harrison. And welcome back to you especially, dear reader.…
Mar 11 2020
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We are all winners today, folks. Each and every one of us has a sparkly Neil Lane diamond in our hearts. The reason…