The Bachelor

It’s pretty weird to be writing a column this patently absurd on this day, in this week, in this month, in this…

Hi, folks! It’s been a while. (It has not been anything resembling a while.) If the hiatus betwixt the end of…

The Bachelor franchise loves the word “most.” Also: shocking, history. Every season, we’re told that such-and-such…

Chris Harrison is a messy bitch who lives for drama. He didn’t even make it through the introduction to this, the…

Tayshia Adams came here to eat food and break hearts, and she’s all out of food. (Actually, she’s not, there’s kind…

[Note: This recap includes a general discussion of suicide.]

Let’s dispense with this right away.

I made this point last week, and I stand by it this week: Tayshia is a god-tier Bachelorette. In the seventh week of…

Ahhhhh, that’s the stuff. That’s The Bachelorette of yore. The sturm und drang of Clare’s mini-season was wild, but…

The nation—nay, the world—has breathed a collective sigh of relief. Could it be that the worst is behind us? Is that…

This week’s episode of The Bachelorette will never die. It is a time capsule. It, like Late-Night Steve Kornacki…

Ohhhhhhhh god.

Forgive me, a loathsome millennial, for starting this story in such a fashion, but the situation demands it: this…

Welcome back, Bachelor Nation. Welcome back, Chris Harrison. And welcome back to you especially, dear reader.…

We are all winners today, folks. Each and every one of us has a sparkly Neil Lane diamond in our hearts. The reason…

“I have one that’s making it easier on me and one that’s making it not so easy.”

We’re nearing the end of Peter’s season of The Bachelor, which means it’s time for the Women Tell All. That means no…

Oh, what in the ever-loving holy hell was that interminable mess?

At the end of this week’s The Bachelor, Peter Weber knew in his heart of hearts that his wife was standing in an…

One of the great episodes of Anthony Bourdain’s Parts Unknown sees the man aboard a boat a Sicily, preparing to…