Should you impose a “candy tax” on your kids’ Halloween stash?

Ah, parenting. So many opportunities for life lessons around every corner. Even on November 1, say, when your kid is busy sorting their overwhelming candy stash from an overwhelming trick-or-treating haul. If this income was in money, instead of candy, there would be a tax. So why shouldn’t your kid get taxed on this…

Iowa man spends $3,000 on trick-or-treat candy—can we have his address, please?

An Iowa man who loves Halloween—like, loves—has decided to turn his joy for the holiday into an excuse to give away a lot of candy. So much candy. The technical term for this amount of candy is probably “a whole shit-ton of candy.” The man spent $3,000 on candy. Yes yes, we are definitely too old to go trick or…

Let’s share our awkward Halloween stories, shall we?

Dressing like a normal person is difficult enough. Tell us we need to dress up as something non-human, clever, cute, and comfortable, and the task becomes monumental. Then, add to the mix gobs of sugar, potentially some alcohol, masks, and fake blood—and Halloween becomes a recipe for all sorts of debauchery,…

Austin bar dresses up as Moe’s Tavern for Halloween, complete with Duff and Squishees

Any old person can dress up for Halloween by spending five minutes writing “NOUN” on a T-shirt with a permanent marker (please don’t steal my favorite lazy costume idea, thanks). It takes a lot more work to dress a building up for Halloween, but that’s just what Nickel City has done. The Austin, Texas-based watering…

Should you film your kid doing dumb shit like getting their head stuck in a pumpkin?

If you’re a parent, one of the bonuses is that you often find your child doing amusing things. Some of those things are only funny to your own family (we still ask my daughter to make the “unicorn face” she created as a toddler, because it never fails to crack us up), some may be funny to other people. And sometimes…

Chipotle’s Halloween costume discount forces staff to make the tough calls

When I saw Chipotle’s announcement that it will bring back the “Boorito” discount this Halloween, I had but one thought. The discount—a $4 entree for any customer wearing a costume after 3 p.m. on October 31—begs the question: What constitutes a costume? Chipotle says it’s leaving that up to staff to decide.

New BK Nightmare King burger may give you bad dreams—possibly via meat overload

Because our waking life apparently isn’t nightmarish enough, Burger King is out to even rob us of the sweet relief of sleep with its latest Halloween concoction, the Nightmare King. The new burger, which consists of “a quarter pound of flame-grilled beef, a white meat crispy chicken fillet, melted American cheese,…

Last Call: Who’s out here carving pineapple jack-o’-lanterns?

It came to my attention this weekend that some people—lookin’ at you, Martha—will be carving non-pumpkin jack-o’-lanterns this month. After my initial shock subsided, I had to grudgingly give it to these rebels—carved pineapples, watermelons, etc. are more likely to get snacked on than carved pumpkins. I usually save…

Zombie Skittles will let you taste the rainbow—and rotting human flesh

If there’s a greatest hits chart of general gripes, “selling holiday decorations or products months before said holiday” would have to be pretty high on that list. Skittles has decided to avoid that everyday irritation, that teeth-grinding mistake, by making sure its next big holiday push is being advertised in an…

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