Which non-alcoholic beer is marginally better than just drinking water?

I didn’t anticipate how strange I’d feel buying non-alcoholic beer. I rolled into my regular supermarket at 9:30 on Saturday morning and loaded up the register’s conveyer belt with seven six-packs of non-alcoholic beer, plus a gallon of milk (we were out). The cashier asked for my I.D., which I wasn’t expecting. Then,…