Marie Kondo is getting some grief lately and I just don’t get it. Her new Netflix series, Tidying Up With Marie Kondo, has made a splash since it debuted, appropriately enough, on January 1. Some are protesting her minimalist method, claiming they want to hold on to all their books, and categorizing “decluttering” as a problem of privilege.
Granted, I have drunk the Kondo Kool-aid, having read her book and seen the show. I still don’t subscribe to everything she suggests—I don’t thank my about-to-be-tossed clothes for their service and I still haven’t mastered that stand-up folding method. But I live with a few packrats, and I feel like I’m fighting clutter on a daily basis. So thanks to Kondo inspiration, I tackled my basement over winter break, and for the upcoming long weekend I’m eyeballing my kitchen. This room is not large, but when we moved three years ago it was still the one that had more moving boxes than any other. I have not one, not two, but three junk drawers I am now itching to tackle.
And there are some food items I know I have been carrying around for years, for inconsequential, sentimental reasons. That special hot chocolate gift set I received from my aunt years ago has got to taste like absolute brown dust by now, right? Why was it in my pantry? I ridiculously hosted some guilt pangs, but felt better after I tossed it.
So here’s all I’m asking. Find one thing in your pantry that you have been carrying around from apartment to apartment or kitchen to kitchen but need to toss. Mine is a Knorr sauce packet. It makes me sad just looking at it, because I can make a better sauce from scratch. I kept it all these years because I thought it would make a quick dinner sometime when I was out of other options. But now it’s clear that I will never use it, so it’s time to toss.
Of course, we don’t suggest you throw away still-usable food, like cans and boxes pre-expiration date. Better to take them to a donation feed pantry, where they will actually do some good, instead of sitting on your shelf for all eternity.
So emboldened was I by my sauce toss, I turned to my Takeout colleagues. I challenged them all to find one historic artifact from their kitchen, which they will never use, has probably long expired, but for some reason we’re hoarding to this day. [Gwen Ihnat]
Goodbye forever, marzipan log
There is a desiccated chocolate-covered marzipan log in the door of my freezer that’s been there for at least two Christmases. I don’t even like marzipan, but some paranoid part of me thought that in a nuclear apocalypse, I could survive off this nut-paste log for a few days. Or, because it’s frozen solid, I could use it as a weapon. Honestly though, the marzipan has to go. [Kate Bernot]
Goodbye forever, Chocolate Frog
This Chocolate Frog, purchased on my first trip to Universal’s Wizarding World of Harry Potter, is four years old. For some reason, I never ate it. It made it across the country and survived a move. I am not going to throw it away. I am going to eat it, right now.
Happy Friday to me. [Allison Shoemaker]
Goodbye forever, HP Sauce
Here is a bottle of almost-unused HP Sauce I purchased for our steak sauce taste test. Turns out, I’m not a fan of it with steak. And as tasty as it might be in a bacon rasher sandwich, I don’t eat those too often. I will certainly not use this in the near future, and likely won’t make a dent before its Feb 1, 2020 expiration date. So it shall go in the trash heap now, because that’s where it’ll end up anyway one day. [Kevin Pang]
Now it’s your turn, Takeout commenteriat. We challenge you to Marie Kondo one thing from your fridge that you’ll never, ever use. Take a picture and post it below. You’ll feel better about yourself.