Last Call: What’s the worst pizza topping imaginable?

Who abandoned this slice, and why?
Who abandoned this slice, and why?
Photo: Spencer Platt (Getty Images)
Last CallLast CallLast Call is The Takeout’s online watering hole where you can chat, share recipes, and use the comment section as an open thread. Here’s what we’ve been reading/watching/listening around the office today.

Earlier today, Takeout staff writer Dennis Lee reported on Jamie Oliver’s deeply unsettling pizza topping of choice: red grapes. Oliver’s surfboard-shaped pizza also featured knobs of sausage, red onion, entire sprigs of rosemary, and a sprinkling of pine nuts. It looks... not good. It looks not good.


While off-putting, Oliver’s choice wasn’t particularly shocking to those of us who write about and prepare food for a living. A while back, I covered every centimeter of a pizza in ground beef, resulting in something I fondly remember as The Big Meat. Dennis once fired off a pizza topped in Easter candy just to see what would happen. (Bad things. Bad things happened.) But there’s a difference between an intentionally foul Easter candy pizza and Oliver’s offering, which seems like it’s supposed to taste... good?

Now, we want to hear from you. What’s the weirdest, grossest, most spine-tingling pizza topping you’ve ever encountered? Where’d you have it? Did it end up tasting good, or have you filed it away into “never again” flavor territory? Bring us your tired, your weary, your chocolate-dipped anchovy pies yearning to break free.

Staff writer @ The Takeout, joke writer elsewhere. Wrangling dogs and pork shoulder in Chicago.


Implied Kappa

These things are terrible. They’re completely flavorless and the texture is just offputting. Please stop putting them on my pizzas, thanks.